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| Signed up: |
7 years ago (10/04/04)
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Last signed in:
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2 weeks ago
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Total time online:
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39d 5h 53m
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21 year-old male
| Latest Post | |
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Still a human Right and Left arm
Born into a life of confusion and natural lack of knowledge. Unknown is the history of your existence. Unknown is the truth as it is not presented in the world. Reliance of the Family to learn and to go out to the world. To know only of what we are told. Untrue that is, as we feel within our self that which contradicts the life around us.
Confusion of how to live our lives, lead to frustration that we should change. To change or ask how we should change? See how the waves of people around us push and toggle us to see what causes the least amount of pain in this world. What is best in floating on in this life without being drown by the sea waves of people. How to float on without losing one self's existence forever more into the endless ocean of people.
Needing help as to not be pushed in the wrong places. We find people that don't hurt as bad as we try to form ourselves. As together as one, it is harder for the waves of the ocean to make a harmful impact on us as a group. Learning of each other paths as we made it here together. Glad that the world of people cannot push us as it once did.
Life all around shifts to us and push in weird ways that make our group question. Question each other. To criticize disability's and any disagreement. The group is starting to push on us harder then they used to. The pain from back before the group is returning as the group starts to fall apart. Crumbling we are into the deep ocean of people again.
As I fall deeper into the darkness after the shattering my group, I noticed a person from the group is pushing against the others of the ocean to get to me. So I start giving into effort to push my way to him. We meet and grasp each other's hands.
We affirmed to each other the good that we liked in each other. To build up confidence and to become solid within in to hold onto that good. As I know I do not want to lose this person as he does not want to lose me. So together we grew just a little bit. The waves of people had us in a current trying to push force against us. As my hand was about to fall apart I realized I had a solid heart. More dense and harder then everything around! As I let go of my friend, I lunged to grab further on his arm with a renew-led arm and hand to obtain a tight grip.
My arm is stronger. My friend is happy that I maintained myself and even strengthen myself. As my hand is on his arm he started to strengthen his own arm in the same way. From what I liked in him that he himself hardened, he used to to strengthen his arm. The waves of people can do nothing to change this part of who we are!
We where together for a long time but one day a great ball of spinning people that looked infused came about. The waves of people around this ball just spinned in all different directions. A group of people similar to the one I used to be came about unable to stop heading towards it. They where scared of separating. A sad moment as they enterd.
They flew in every direction and we where next!? We knew that this was an abnormal change coming up for us. I told him my good byes as I knew even with this strong arms that we have holding each others. We would be seperated to where the ocean of people wanted us to be.
THE FORCE! It just DROVE US APART. I felt the water all around me thrashing with mighty punches and then thrown me out for the ocean waves of people to just keep passing me along to the other side of the ocean. My friend, seemed to be able to stay about were we where.
Nothing to do. But I could feel the protection I had when people of the waves pushed against my arm. Trying to deform me. To change me. Maybe the other parts might be changing. Fear took over. I don't know who to trust.
Everyone seems the same! I don't recognize anyone of the people of the waves around me. Theres nothing I can do but float on with this arm that starting to look constricting to me. Starting to look stupid. Pointless....
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..
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NO IT'S NOT! It's part of who I was. Its what that guy liked about me back then. He was nice. He treated me well and he went of his way to go forth to me to stay together. All thoughs great things I believe make a good person. No one can change that from me. NO ONE!
I was letting myself fall apart to be like thoughts people of the waves. Most of who I am is still just like them. I just have this arm that makes me different. This arm from my heart that cares. I want to be like my friend that pushed himself to stay together with me. That commitment to push beyond normal compacitys of what we are made of. My Right arm does not look stupid but necessary! My whole rest of my being is a terrible mess! My left arm though is shaking but differently from the rest of my body.
I just float on. As nothing is different as people keep pushing me into this endless pit of people. So many people all the same. I start to think. To think about if there are more people out there like my friend. I see a shine ahead above me. I am being pushed passed this shine. But this shine I must go up for. It's something new and different. I grasp into a person and threw myself off them with my right arm, but I am starting to get tired. I try again and again! I am not moving at all. Just a little. Then I see a person above me but under the shining light! This person had something over his head.
It looks interesting is all around his neck and back head veining out to his eyes. DARN IT! I cant move fast enofe. I am being pushed away! I well do this! I want to be able to do this! My left arm was able to push against the people around me. My left arm looks like my friends arm. I have to strong arms!
I start to swim with my arms against all people to get to this person! But I am still getting pushed against to go back. He had seen me. The guy with the neck thing. Suddenly a wave of energy just flows out and goes pass all the people of the waves and stops them pushing me. Suddenly I could just swim up to her?
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